I added a new label: "blended family." There aren't a whole lot of blended family blogs out there. If you're in a blended family yourself then it would be cool to be able to relate to someone else going through similar experiences. If you're not in a blended family then reading about them might help to broaden your horizon a bit! And a blended family is just that: a family. So a lot of the things our family will go through, so will any type of family, I am sure.
Our blended family is a relatively large one and so with it comes a spray park of dynamics; there are personalities coming at us in all directions. Andrew and I have seen counselors, read books, looked up websites, taken notes and made lists. Our date nights are filled with Spanish coffees (well, peppermint tea for me for the next 6 months) and discussions about how we will best parent our children together. There is no shortage of love in our family but we would be naive to think that love is all we need. We need plans, and then flexibility when said plans go to shit. We need to respect and forgive ourselves first so that we can then be able to respect and forgive each other. And above all, we need to communicate communicate communicate.
But it's good for us to realize that we can't control everything no matter how much we read and how many lists we make. And that sometimes we just need to let go. When I update people in my life about our family, I get asked a lot of questions and my reply is always honest: I make the rollercoaster motion with my hands in the air and that essentially sums it up. There's going to be a lot of tops and bottoms and hairpin curves and downright frightening moments. If we can just hold onto each other while we're being thrown around, then we can let go and throw our hands in the air when we're at the top.
One of my favourite memories is when we took our kids up the Abbotsford Grind: a tough hike up a local mountain. A couple of them tore up like it was nothing, and one or two kids straggled behind. But when we got to the top, we sat together and ate our sandwiches in peace while we looked out at the view below. We spent quite a bit of time at the top because it had been such hard work to get up there. I'm not sure who started this but all of our kids lined up along the edge and mooned us. We took a picture to capture the silly moment so that when we have more tough climbs we can remember that it's not always difficult, that they do pass and we do get to have fun at the top.
And we know that when we get shot upside the head with the hose water, we can just shake it off and show them the moon.
love this.
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