Heads Up

As I get older and grow in maturity and strength (HA!), I notice that I am able to control my thought patterns a bit more than I used to. Where I would once spiral into an anxiety-ridden mess, I now rein it in and keep my footing.

I had that medical procedure done last week and now I have to wait for the results. While I was running this morning I started to worry about what might be wrong with me and thirty seconds later I was taking mental notes of where my friends and family would sit at my funeral. What kind of food will they serve? There will be a chocolate fountain, for sure, and a giant bowl of ketchup chips beside the guest book. Everyone will sign their names in rainbow-coloured scented felt pens. As you can see, I lost my footing a bit this morning.

Remember that scene from Tommy Boy where Chris Farley is doing the lifesaver demo on the airplane? He puts the inflatable thingie around his neck and blows it up while David Spade informs everyone that "there's no point in learning how to use one of these because if the plane is going to crash into anything, it's going to be a mountain." And everyone gasps in horror.

That's what I was doing this morning--I was focusing on the wrong thing! If I'm going to die anytime soon, chances are it will be from being nailed by a truck while I'm running along the side of the road. But even so, why would I spend my energy worrying about death when I could spend that energy actually living?

I may lose my footing from time to time, for sure. And I really hope that there isn't an open mike at my funeral. But as long as I keep getting up and moving forward, keeping my focus on living and loving fully, then chances are, I won't hit a mountain.