I ran past a guy without an arm today. He was walking arm in arm (the other one, obviously) with whom I assume is his girlfriend. The brain-static that followed went (embarrassingly) like this:
"I wonder how he lost his arm? How would losing an arm affect me? I guess I'd have a hard time grabbing things. I think it would affect my personality more than I realize. I'd have to be nicer because I'd need people to be nicer to me (I'd need more help than the average two-armed person) and they're not going to be nice to me if I'm mean, unless they're being sympathy-nice and that's gross. So then would I really be true to myself if I forced myself to be nicer just because I needed to be?"
And then I realized that losing an arm would be representative of any type of adversity any of us have ever faced, and that we all carry (sorry) our cripple in some form or another whether it be seen or hidden. And that we all need to be nicer to people because we need them to be nice to us for peace to exist and for love to prevail and for the sake of chocolate chip cookies and all things warm and filling.
Or, we could always be resentful, and use our cripple as an excuse to be mean and I suppose that's just a choice we make. Or, we could not be mean, but at the same time refuse help for the sake of our pride and just accomplish everything we need to accomplish plus some just to prove the point that we don't need anybody's help. But don't we? Complete isolation and prideful independence isn't really all that admirable, unless you're a tree.
Whether we're stuck in a bathroom stall with no toilet paper or trying to get our double-wide stroller through the Starbucks door, at one point or another, we will need a hand from our fellow humans. We can either humbly and kindly ask for help and therefore join in on the goodness, or we can stay stuck outside the glass walls in the cold while everyone sips their coffees inside where it's warm. We can either wipe with a spared square or we can drip dry, which always ends poorly. We have a choice: to link up our good arms and walk in community or we can, like my dad always says, "make like a tree and leave."
Today was "pay-it-forward day" - so I heard...But there's no need to stop at midnight. :)
ReplyDeleteYa, I was waiting all day for a coffee delivery to my work, but there was nothing! Lol... kidding. ish.
DeleteI would be your seeing arm dog.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who treats their whole life like she is owed something. People bend over backwards to help her all of the time. Every "nice" thing she does comes with strings attached. She is never happy and never will be. It is sad.
Some of us have all five senses and two arms but can't be thankful...then there are other people who are missing an arm but use the other one to hold their girlfriend. That is what it's all about.
"then there are some people who are missing an arm but use the other one to hold their girlfriend..." so incredibly true, and such a beautiful image. I'm glad I was able to witness that yesterday and I love the metaphors that it brings to life.
DeleteI think if there is anything that Boston taught us, it's that people (especially runners) are giving people who will do anything to help someone out especially when in dire need. As horrible of an event it was, it was amazing to see humanity band together to support all of those affected.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right, it shouldn't take extraordinary circumstances for us to help out. Pay it forward everyday even the smallest thing can make the biggest difference to someone.
Yep, I agree. It's the small stuff that we do that adds up to who we are, not the big stuff we do in the spotlight when everyone is watching us. Thanks, Laura!
Delete