I feel a little overwhelmed right now. I've been super busy, running around from job to job, school to grocery store to gas station. I don't feel fully plugged into any one particular thing. I feel fragmented, frazzled and frail. Frick.
I feel emotionally overwhelmed as well. I had several friends and family text me today and I just couldn't absorb it all for some reason and no matter how much I wanted to process their words and reply with my heart, my fingers just wouldn't move on the screen.
Like I'm in my spacesuit on the moon and I'm trying so hard to plant my feet firmly down onto the moon's surface but gravity keeps pushing me off. Or like when I try and press the two like-sided ends of the batteries together. Or when I'm playing dodge-ball in sixth grade and I'm on the losing team. Nothing is getting absorbed. It's all bouncing off of me, and it's leaving a bit of a mark.
And that's what I wrote back to Tracey tonight: "my brain is full." And she got it right away.
There's nothing in particular on my mind and yet there's everything all at once. I'm feeling around the bottom of the pool of water and it's dark and quiet, but it's also all-consuming.
Just let me be grumpy today.
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