Drive

It doesn't take much to get a driver's license in British Columbia because I managed to get one when I turned sixteen. My Uncle Phil taught me how to drive in his Chevrolet Chevette. My knuckles white (my uncle's whiter), I managed to pull whatever courage I had from the recesses of my insecure adolescent body and pour it out onto the roads. With the promise of freedom ahead of me, I left my fears behind.

Until I passed a semi truck on the freeway. It was scarier than playing Bloody Mary at a slumber party. The little car shaking, it felt like we were being sucked in under the truck's trailer.

Uncle Phil taught me something that day. He told me that wherever I look, that is where I will go. If I stare at the semi trucks in fear, then I will steer into them. If I fix my gaze at the road ahead then my car will drive straight and strong.

I remember a few years back when I was afraid of dogs. I would carry bear spray with me on all of my runs until I realized one day that because the spray was always in my hands, the fear of dogs was always on my mind. I decided that I would rather live the rest of my life in peace than in fear, so I got rid of it.

When I find myself stuck in debilitating fear, I ask myself what I have been focusing on to get myself stuck. Then I turn my gaze back onto the road ahead and drive my heart straight and strong.