Day Twenty-Nine

Humans by nature are control freaks. We can jump out of airplanes, eat fried chicken from KFC and touch the door handles at WalMart but as soon as we get stuck in traffic we totally lose our minds. We'd rather stand in a lit room filled with snakes than stand in a dark room filled with god-knows-what. As long as we know what the fuck is going on, we will be okay.

Why?

It's the fear of the unknown, and that fear is persuasive.

How do we deal with the unknown so that we don't totally fall apart whenever life gets convoluted? I'm not sure. When you figure it out, will you let me know?

I think if I'm honest with myself, when I lose control over one aspect of my life, I over-control everything else to make up for it. Like, I run 100 miles a week because running has cause and effect. I run, I get tired, I eat, I sleep, I wake up and run some more. I also make lists of things to do like take my van for an oil change and buy cat food from Costco so that I can go do it, and then cross it off the list. Seeing it there written down "to do" and then physically putting a big black line through it is so satisfying. I also love to sit on my bathroom counter and tweeze out all my white hairs.

So maybe I don't know if Freddy will need a blood transfusion or what city I will be living in, but I'll know for damn sure that I won't need an engine flush for another 10,000 km and that my cat won't starve.

We are all control freaks in our own way, too. Some people are outwardly obvious with their controlling nature, while some people white-knuckle their lives in the more hidden parts. What do you guys do to maintain a sense of control? Eat? Pluck hairs? Exercise? Wash your car 800 times? Scrub the kitchen floor until you've taken off the finishing coat?

Let me know! I need some fresh ideas.